


A Little Out of Order

by alittlelightofsin



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: And Kurochi has a 0.5 second role in this so, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Awkward First Times, Birthday Smut, Eventual Smut, First Time, Lemon, M/M, My First Smut, NSFW, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Sex, Smut, Spicy, While this focuses on Oumota, can you tell I'm nervous because I have Shame and a Lot of Shame, oh yeah this is technically a VRAU, this is technically saioumota and mentions that pretty regularly so, this is the first time I've ever written smut in a fanfic in my entire life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-27 02:45:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17758292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlelightofsin/pseuds/alittlelightofsin
Summary: Kaito Momota and Kokichi Ouma finally get together in the only way they know how--by being drunk and being the hottest messes they can be.





	A Little Out of Order

**Author's Note:**

> Hi so... my name is Rylie and this is the first time I've ever written a NSFW/Smut fanfic and now everyone gets to witness it first attempt
> 
> I'm not sure if I'll ever attempt erotica again after this, but it was at least a fun experiment to get myself out of my comfort zone and write for a genre I never wanted to explicitly touch with a ten foot pole. I now know so many things about the male anatomy. Help.
> 
> By the way, I suppose I should give credit where credit is due--this was a roleplay between me and L (aroseandapen) however we didn't role play the actual sex scene, we time skipped that part. Basically from the heavy petting to the end of the sex was all me. Ho boy...
> 
> Anyway, uh. I guess I'm procrastinating. Enjoy the show?

Kaito may not have waited until he was of age to drink, but it wasn’t something he did very often. Now it just seemed fitting, to get a nice buzz going while he was among friends and celebrating a birthday like this. Eating cake, opening presents, playing games—which devolved into a drinking game that got all participants drunk, including himself—such was the nature of parties. He laughed a bit louder than normal, his movements a bit looser and less coordinated, but for the most part he had pretty good control of himself.

He thought so, at least.

Toward the end of the party, Kaito heard Kurochi giggling, grabbing onto Shuichi’s arm as he swayed. The older twin was drunk far before any of them had even begun to drink, and he seemed to still be in the thick of it.

“I’m gonna borrow your boyfriend, ‘kay?” Kurochi said to Kokichi, who was laying on the couch, and pulled Shuichi away with Shuichi lightly laughing at the antics. Presumably, Kurochi wanted to break in some of the games he’d gotten. He seemed competitive when it came to games involving puzzles or analytical skill, but Kaito thought that Shuichi could be just as intense when he was trying to pick the clues apart to figure things out. He was half tempted to tag along, if only to see how that battle would go.

However, his eyes caught onto the goofy grin Kokichi had on his face as he called out; "M'kaaaay! Have fun! Don't hurt each other's brains!" And he almost felt drawn to it. Despite the fact his own brother _very intentionally_ sabotage the game and left Kokichi losing and drunk, Kokichi didn’t seemed at all bothered by it. In fact, he looked like he was still having quite a bit of fun, just laying on the couch and not doing much of anything. The party was just about over, most of the guests had left to retreat to their rooms on the compound, so it left him alone with Kokichi on the couch.

Not that it was a bad thing. He’d grown increasingly fond of him, and as infuriating as he could be, Kaito actually did enjoy spending time with him. Besides that, if he _did_ leave, then Kokichi would be all alone.

Might as well keep him company.

“You look like you’re having fun,” Kaito said, a shitty icebreaker with a slurred voice. “Especially for someone who lost at the mini-golf game.”

Kokichi hummed as he glanced upward, eyes unfocused and warm, before he snorted. “You’re tooootally drunk,” he said, giggling as he promptly sprawled out on the couch. "Your voice sounds funny!"

“It does _not.”_ It actually did. A little. Even in his inebriated state, Kaito could detect the slur in his words. As a childish, playful response, Kaito poked Kokichi’s forehead. Kokichi snorted when he did, giggling and giddy for seemingly no reason. “Your voice sounds just as funny as mine!”

"Kaiiito poked meeee!" He playfully cried out, initially ignoring the comment about his voice. "So meaaaan! The meanest! Kaiiito’s the meeeeaaaneeeest!" Despite his words, he was laughing and giggling. Kokichi paused for a moment. Then, he started laughing again. "I'm a pot! Kaito's a kettle, nee-heehee!"

Kaito rolled his eyes. “You’re ridiculous. You having fun?”

“Of course I'm having fun! It's my birthday!" Kokichi chirped with another giggle. "Who doesn't have fun on their birthday?"

“Well good! Glad to hear it, just checking up on you, nothin’ wrong with that, right?” He made a shooing motion with his hand, at Kokichi sprawled out over the couch. “Scoot over, lemme sit, too.”

Kokichi giggled more as he tried to force out a pout, which might have ended in some unintentional raspberries. "Nooo! My couch!" he continued to giggle as he sprawled out his arms and legs as far as they would go, trying to take up as much of the couch as possible. "If you sit here I can't lay dooown!"

Kaito frowned. "Geez, you're such a kid." He reminded him of a stretching cat, actually, except bigger and taking up _all_ the sitting space. He nudged at Kokichi's shoulder, a halfhearted attempt to move him. Kokichi only laughed, dramatically swaying away from Kaito’s nudge and back into place.

“Noooo, my couch!” Kokichi repeated, though soon, there was a hint of mischief in his eyes and a light blush on his cheeks. "Unless you wanna be my pillow for a little while! Then I'll share the couch with you. How's that sound?"

“Uhh? You just want to lay on me?"

"Yup yup!" Kokichi chirped. "You wanna sit, I wanna lay down, but the couch isn't big enough for both unless I get to lay my head on your lap!" Kokichi lifted himself up just enough so Kaito could sit. "Kaiiito! Be my pillow, pwetty pwease! I'll be good, promise!" Despite his giggling, he at least seemed genuine about it.

It was a strange request to Kaito, but looking at the faint red in Kokichi's cheeks—from the alcohol, he assumed—and how contentedly he seemed... In his own alcohol-addled brain, it didn't seem too bad at all. "Geez, sure, fuck it. Only because it's your birthday. But if you act like an asshole I'm kicking you off onto the ground," he warned. “I swear, you’re ridiculous.”

He found it hard to work himself up to be truly annoyed, however. It wasn’t so bad, he thought, and it wasn’t like Kaito was adverse to touching Kokichi. They’d been closer before, in much smaller spaces. So he sat, taking up the space Kokichi left for him to take up. If he was honest with himself, seeing Kokichi so giggly and enjoying himself pleased him.

Not that he’d admit that out loud. Kokichi would probably make fun of him for it forever, with how much he liked teasing Kaito.

The moment that Kokichi rested his head on him, Kaito put one of his hands on top of his head, to idly play with his hair without really thinking about it. “You don’t get to complain if my lap isn’t comfortable, though. You wanted it.”

"I won't complain! Geez, Kaito." As he toyed with Kokichi’s hair, however, Kokichi’s giddiness faded into a soft, content smile. “You’re warm! Very warm and cozy!”

Kaito snorted as Kokichi commented on how warm and cozy he was. Silly, stupid, but it was still incredibly endearing. “You’re drunk, you fuckin’ dork.”

He ran his fingers through Kokichi’s hair, enjoying its softness between them. He didn’t quite know why he liked playing with his hair like this, but at least Kokichi seemed to enjoy it. Kokichi's smile softened further as his eyes closed. Kaito continued to pet him. He looked so at ease, laying there with his head on his lap. The sight stirred up pleasant, warm feelings in his chest, heat from a combination of the alcohol and watching Kokichi lay in contentment in his lap.

Uncertain thoughts started ruining the moment. Was it weird? It was probably a little weird, having these sort of thoughts and feelings about another guy. He was straight, after all—with the exception of Shuichi, at least. Kaito figured it was just the usual platonic feelings he felt toward Kokichi being turned a bit wonky because of his inebriation.

Sure, he felt them about Shuichi as well, but it was really just Shuichi he felt attracted to as far as other guys went. Right?

Guh, he was too drunk to be thinking about it.

Kokichi snapped him out of his thoughts with a poke to his cheek. "Nee-heehee... Squishy..." He laughed about it, and proceeded to keep poking at him.

The warm bubble in Kaito’s chest popped and he scowled. Well, at least he wasn’t confused anymore.

Kaito grunted, swatting at Kokichi’s hand. “Hey, knock it off.”

Kokichi only giggled more, dramatically letting his hand fall away, grinning up at him. "You were making the gaga face again! That's why I poked yooou!"

Kaito tensed ever so slightly. "Huh? What?"

“The gaga face!” Kokichi’s grin widened. "It’s the face you make when you’re thinkin’ about Shuichi. Thinkin’ about him, again? You've been thinking about him like, non stop. Lovesick fool. Hee-hee."

Normally Kaito would grumble a bit and brush him off, but he couldn't say anything for a good few moments. No, nothing was inherently wrong with what Kokichi said, but that wasn’t the problem.

The problem was, he hadn't been thinking of Shuichi at all.

"C'mon, I wasn't looking gaga about anybody," he tried to deny, his laugh a bit nervous. All he'd been doing was watching Kokichi's face while he'd pet him, he hadn't been thinking about anyone else. "I mean... he does have nice eyes, but I wasn't thinking about him…"

"Huuuh?" Kokichi blinked a bit surprised by Kaito's reaction. Then, he gave a small pout. "You were toooootally thinking about him. Don't you lie to me. You only make that gaga face when you're thinkin' about him. It's the most dumbfounded, lovesick face I've ever seen, ever." Kokichi grinned wider before sticking his tongue out and giving Kaito a short raspberry.

“Hey, quit it,” Kaito protested. His cheeks felt a little warm under the teasing. “I do _not_ make faces like that.”

"Heey now, you don't need to be shy about liking your boyfriend, you nerd. Even with me! Just ‘cause we’re both dating him doesn’t mean you can’t gush about him at me.”

"Hey, shut up, I'm not shy about liking nobody!" Nothing Kokichi said was necessarily wrong. It may have carried a teasing tone, but if what he said was true about Kaito's face then it would make sense for him to be thinking about Shuichi. Still, it agitated Kaito for some reason. Even though he knew that he didn't have feelings like that for Kokichi, that he'd been looking at him with such an expression had him shaken.

Kokichi started poking Kaito’s cheek again, making him grunt. “Yeah, yeah, Mr. Tough guy. So go on, talk to me about what you were thinkin'. His eyes? His hair? His super soft skin? Soft lips?" He giggled again. "I can go all day gushin' over Shuii, so don't be shy. Let out your inner gay for him, accept your love for him! I won't tell anyone, promiiiiiise!"

Kokichi’s insistence made Kaito nervous. Anxious. Unsure. He could probably just let Kokichi have this, and the conversation would be done and over with. However, Kokichi insisting that he looked lovesick didn’t sit right with him. No, not at all.

He mentally shook himself, and pressed his palms to the sides of Kokichi's face, squishing his cheeks together in a way he'd probably feel childish about while sober.

"Heeeey! Quit iiiiiit!" Kokichi whined. He weakly swatted at Kaito’s hands and arms, and something about it made Kaito laugh a little. Squishing Kokichi’s cheeks together amused him more than it should, even if Kokichi wasn’t too happy about it. "Why're you squishin' my face? Staaaaahp! Staaaaaaaaahp!"

It was retaliation, he told himself. Retaliation for Kokichi annoying him. "I'm telling ya, I wasn't thinking about anybody." He decided that Kokichi was just mistaken, misreading his face in his drunkenness. Probably. Maybe. "I wasn't thinking about Shuichi or nobody, I was just glad that you were having fun on your birthday, okay? I wasn't makin’ any gaga face."

"You _were_ making the gaga face! I know it when I see it!" Kokichi pouted, finally pushing Kaito’s hands away from his cheeks. "You make that face at Shuii aaall the time, and you've been making that face all the time when we hang out ‘cause you can't stop thinkin' about him. I know you're lyiiing!"

Suddenly, Kokichi moved. He sat up, grinning with every ounce of mischief his body could muster, and began to straddle Kaito’s lap.

Kaito nearly choked on air, heat flaring in his face. This was way too embarrassing a position. Nevermind Kokichi’s accusation, bringing more heat to his cheeks. “Hey—!”

His protest was cut short. "Unless you’re trying to say you were makin' that gaga face at _me._ Does Kaito loooooove me? Nee-heehee, is this your way of confessing?" Kokichi rested his hands on Kaito’s shoulders, and leaned in closer to his face. A little too close for comfort.

"Does Kaito wanna kiiiiiss meeee?"

Kokichi laughed when Kaito nearly choked again. He could feel Kokichi’s breath hit the skin on his neck, and he shuddered. It didn’t make breathing any easier.

"'Cause if he wasn't thinkin' about Shuii and only about me, then he was making love dovey faces at meeeee!” Ever teasing, ever playful, yet that mischief was no longer reaching Kokichi’s eyes. “I bet Kaito wants to smooch my cute face over and over again! I don't blame you, I'm suuuper smoochable. You get one free smooch!"

A weird lump lodged itself in Kaito’s throat, and an itch in his chest that he couldn’t identify stirred. He didn’t get it, but he knew that Kokichi was driving him up a wall with this. He didn’t even know why he wouldn’t just let Kokichi have this, just tell him that he was thinking about Shuichi and let it drop.

Maybe there was a part of him that wanted Kokichi to admit that he wasn’t making a ‘gaga’ face. That it was just a teasing lie, and Kaito could move on knowing that he hadn’t been looking at Kokichi like he was in love with him, especially not for so long without realizing.

"C'moooon, are you gonna smooch me? Mr. 'I make gaga faces and still won't admit I love Shuichi'?” Kokichi leaned away a little, smirking. “That or you can admit that you were toooootally thinkin' of Shuichi. That also works!"

But clearly, Kokichi wasn’t going to drop it.

“Shut up, I’m not—” He hated it so much, how Kokichi was teasing him. Embarrassment burned in his cheeks, his heart pounded in his chest, and he wanted—something. He didn’t _know,_ but the desire badly itched in his arms.

Kokichi messing with him, knowing that Kaito wouldn’t actually kiss him… it was so infuriating, and Kaito didn’t even know why. Kokichi could go on and on about teasing him, until he got what he wanted.

Except, he bet that he could shut Kokichi up.

“Goddammit, you’re just so—Just so fucking—” Before he could think about it, or let the logical part of his brain convince him otherwise, he grabbed the sides of Kokichi’s face again.

"Heeeey, don't squish m— _Mmmph!"_

Kokichi didn’t have time to say anything else. This time, instead of squishing Kokichi’s face, Kaito had pulled him in to crush their lips together.

There they stayed, for several moments. Kaito could feel how tense Kokichi was in his lap, which a part of him expected. After all, he had just suddenly kissed him, and he knew Kokichi wouldn’t expect that. When the rational part of his mind started working again, however, he realized that what he was doing was a bad, stupid, and completely inappropriate thing to do to another guy when he insisted he was straight.

Kaito immediately pulled away at the thought, and he was met with a confused, bewildered gaze.

"Wooow, jeez Kaito, I didn't know you hated gushing about Shuii _that_ much," Kokichi scoffed. With how his face twisted with disgust and something else Kaito couldn’t identify, Kaito immediately regretted the impulsive action. Kokichi was just messing with him so much, and his head was so cloudy.

Now however, his thoughts seemed crystal clear and sharp enough to cut himself on.

"You're too much of a macho man to admit you're a love-sick fool for him, so you'd rather play with my poor, wittle heart instead of admitting it?”

“What? No, wait! That’s not—that wasn’t what I was doing at all!” The last thing he wanted was to hurt Kokichi, and yet, there they were. Kokichi sounded so angry, so _hurt._ So hateful and repulsed by him, and it felt like someone was trying to rip apart his heart.

Either way, Kokichi didn’t look convinced. “Yikes... I don't even know how to react to that. I sure hope Shuichi doesn’t find out about you great hatred for gushing about him."

“I’m not—that’s not it! Of course I love Shuichi—he’s a great guy and he deserves the fuckin’ world and the universe. But I just... I don’t know, I wasn’t thinking about him at all.”

Kaito felt lost and confused as he tried to gather his thoughts. He didn’t know _what_ he was trying to do. He didn’t even know what he was trying to say. All he could feel was panic and guilt. “I really was just looking at you, and I was happy that _you_ were happy, but I guess I sort of fucked that up now...”

Kokichi growled. “ _That’s_ sure an understatement.”

“I know, I.. Wait, okay. I wasn’t... trying to play with your heart or anything, I just wanted..." He was blabbering on now, fueled by panic and alcohol. “… Fuck, I don’t know.”

Kokichi hung his head, hiding his face with his bangs and the shadow they made. He went to squirm, but the motion made Kaito instinctively hold fast to his upper arms.

"... Let go of me." Kokichi's voice was low, darkened with rage and wavering with pain. "Let go of me. _Now."_

Guilt stung hard at the sound of Kokichi's voice. Why did he have to go and kiss him?

He didn't think that it would turn out like this. He didn't really think about it at _all,_ actually. Despite Kokichi's demand to be released, his hold remained fast. "Just listen. Listen to me a sec, lemme... lemme explain. Please, I just—"

“Let me go,” Kokichi snarled, interrupting him. “I don’t care. Let. Me. _Go.”_

“No, wait, just hear me out, please.” There was a hint of genuine fear, that he'd irreversibly damaged the relationship they had with that kiss. At the very least, Kokichi wasn’t struggling to run away anymore, and he had fallen silent. So, Kaito took that as a chance to continue. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you. I know you were just fucking with me or whatever but you were just. You were so close and. Fuck, I don't know, just looking at you and then the way you looked when you were laying there and smiling so... it just made me..."

He knew none of it was making sense, and he hated it. Kaito wished he had a free hand to smack himself with. "I don't know if I looked like I was lovesick or whatever, but all I was doing was staring at you and you were... just... and then you were right there and I just. Needed. Something.”

He didn’t know what he wanted. He didn’t know what he needed in that moment. Kaito didn’t even have any idea where he was going with his words. “I don't know, I don't know what that's supposed to mean but just you were teasing me and kissing you just seemed like a good idea. At the time. I didn't expect you to... hate it so much, I'm sorry."

“Yeah, well. You shouldn't kiss someone you don't like," Kokichi spat. "Not like that, at least. All you'd do is screw with their head and make them think you like them when you _don't."_ Keeping his head low, Kokichi turned away. He started to shift, trying to wriggle his way out of Kaito's grip but being too drunk and weak to do much. “Let me go. _Now.”_

"Wait, _wait._ Shit, it's not like that, it's just... _"_ He didn't want to let go. He couldn't, he had to fix it. Something went wrong between when Kokichi had first laid his head down and his lap and here, and he was struggling with his own thoughts. He needed to fix this. He couldn’t let Kokichi run off without fixing it.

“Let go of me!” Kokichi snarled. He struggled a bit harder. “Let _go!”_

“No! If I do, you won’t come _back!”_ The thought made Kaito’s grip tighter. “You’ll disappear and—I can’t _do_ that again. I didn’t even—I didn’t know what I did last time, but you were gone for a whole _month_ and—and I can’t _do_ that again. Things _just_ got back to normal and I can’t—please. Just, let me explain. Please. I wasn't trying to mess with you, I swear.”

At least, Kokichi stopped struggling, but he kept his head bowed. Kaito couldn’t see much of his face, but he could see his teeth gritted together.

Kaito swallowed. He wanted to drag his hands over his hair, scratch his head and maybe smack some sense into it in the process, but he didn't dare even loosen his grip on Kokichi. He was still trying to process it, process his own thoughts and feelings. As he tried to make sense of everything, one thing became clear.

He'd wanted to kiss Kokichi.

He wanted it, he craved that closeness without really realizing just how much he did. And he'd acted—to shut him up, Kaito had told himself, but it was just an excuse.

The only person he ever wanted to kiss like that beforehand was Shuichi. The way his chest warmed, how content with being close to Kokichi, how similar it all felt to spending time with Shuichi...

In reality, he was a moron for not realizing it sooner.

"I know, I know, I'm being a huge asshole right now,” Kaito started after several moments of intense thought. However, he sounded far more sure than before. “I'm sorry, but fuck. Kokichi, I think I really do like you. I mean, like _that._ I really... do."

Kokichi finally looked up and at Kaito, tears gathered in his eyes and threatening to fall down his face. He stared at Kaito. He stared at him, petrified and with wide eyes. Soon, that disbelief turned into suspicion and his eyes narrowed. "You're _lying."_

Kaito blinked, such an open display of emotion shocking him, and the tears that threatened to spill over his eyes tearing at him with the guilt. He’d caused that. His drunken, dumb ass had hurt Kokichi so much. He couldn’t say that the suspicion surprised him, but it still hurt with the way Kokichi hissed at him. “I’m _not._ I’m not lying, I wouldn’t lie about something like this, okay? I wouldn’t do that to you.”

"Don't toy with me. You _like_ me? That’s bullshit.” Kokichi snapped. “What happened to the 'I'm straight!' shtick, huh? The 'Shuichi is just an exception' thing, _huuuh?"_ He gritted his teeth again. "You're fuckin' drunk and dumb, thinking that you screwed up and the only way to fix any of it is to lie and say you kissed me 'cause you _like_ me. Once you're sober, you're gonna hate every second of this, so quit it. I don't want your pity!"

“I’m not lying. I swear.” The pain in Kaito’s chest was sharp, like the razor edge of a knife lodged under his sternum. When he spoke again his voice wavered, in part from seeing Kokichi in tears and in part from that pain. “I don’t know how to make you believe I’m telling the truth about this, but it is true. And I get if that still doesn’t make it okay, I know you were messing around with me, you weren’t _really_ asking for a kiss, and fuck. I don’t know, you probably don’t even like me back, I get it. Especially after I went and made an ass of myself, but I'm not fucking around with you here, alright?”

Kokichi’s tear-filled eyes were on him like a hawk, searching for even the slightest hint of a lie. Even though Kaito knew he wouldn’t find any, being under such pressure made him swallow a hard lump in his throat. “I mean it, Kokichi. I really do like you. I’m sorry I screwed up, but I’m not lying. I promise.”

Kokichi only continued to search his face, and Kaito felt a little helpless under those judging eyes. Soon enough, however, Kokichi hung his head and laughed.

“God, you’re such a _moron,”_ Kokichi whispered before shaking his head. “Stupid Kaito. You’re so goddamn oblivious, aren’t you?”

Before Kaito could even think to respond, Kokichi’s hands were cupping his face. “This is why… you better not be toying with me. Or else, I won’t _ever_ forgive you.”

Kaito was about to ask what he meant, but he quickly found his lips occupied by Kokichi’s. He had pulled him into another kiss.

Kokichi was kissing him. He was _kissing_ him.

For a long few moments, he couldn't even react. The wheels in his head seemed to turn at a slow crawl, before it finally clicked. Oh. _Oh._ What a dumbass he was. Kokichi _did_ have feelings for him. No wonder he'd been so angry and hurt before.

Kaito felt like an even bigger jerk—but also… Kokichi was kissing him, and he was acting like a dumb rock.

Slowly, he loosened the tight grip he'd kept on Kokichi, wrapping his arms around him instead now that he didn't seem like he would run away the moment he could and finally, finally reciprocated. Kokichi almost immediately relaxed, leaning closer to him and deepening the kiss.

The warmth from before had returned, filling Kaito’s chest and creeping into his cheeks. Maybe part was due to the alcohol, but kissing Kokichi made his head spin. A brief thought rose in his mind, wondering how long Kokichi had feelings for him without him realizing it, but it was quickly smothered. He could work out that later.

Right now he just wanted to focus on Kokichi, and to kiss him until he was dizzy from it.

Soon Kokichi pulled away from the kiss, and Kaito was vaguely aware of how dumb he must have looked in that moment. He was panting lightly, lips parted and a good flush across his face.

Kokichi, on the other hand, looked relieved. There were tears streaming down his face, but there was the softest smile tugging on his lips and a light blush on his cheeks. He even chuckled a little, probably at the face Kaito was making.

Kaito swallowed down the tiny seed of insecurity about how he looked, unwrapping one arm from around Kokichi to brush away some of the tears that had broken free during their kiss. Kokichi chuckled again, placing a hand on Kaito’s when it stopped to cup his face. He even leaned into the touch, and eventually, slid Kaito’s hand down just enough to kiss the lower edge of his palm.

What a sweet, soft little gesture. It made Kaito want to kiss Kokichi all over again, and he didn’t see any reason not to act on that desire. “C’mere, you…” he whispered, before pulling Kokichi into another kiss.

Kokichi melted into it, moaning softly against Kaito’s lips. Such a noise made Kaito’s own blush darken, and he pulled Kokichi in closer. When their kiss broke apart, it didn’t take them long at all to fall into another one. Apart, then together again. Kaito quickly lost track of how many kisses they shared before Kokichi pulled away again.

Kaito immediately chased after him to kiss him again, but Kokichi blocked him with the tips of his fingers. When Kaito’s eyes fluttered open in confusion, he saw Kokichi with a mischievous little smirk on his face.

"Nee-heehee... Who says you can get so many kisses so easily? You gotta eaaarn them now!" With a lot more bounce to his movements, Kokichi struggled against Kaito's grip, trying to break free.

Kaito blinked, unable to do much else in surprise at the sudden turn of events, and confusion whirled in his head as Kokichi broke out of his grip and off of his lap. “H-hey!”

"Catch me!" And then Kokichi was off in a random direction, a bit slower and less graceful than normal.

Kaito struggled up onto his feet, teetering dangerously for a few moments before he got his balance. He barreled off after Kokichi. He should’ve expected this, really. Kokichi was always baiting people into chasing him, but still. Kaito stumbled forward more than ran as he gave chase, propelled by his sheer determination to catch Kokichi soon.

Yet, if he was going to work for his kisses, he was going to make it _count_ the moment he got his hands back on Kokichi.

Down the hall, up and down and all around—really, Kokichi was giving him quite the workout with his little game of chase. As he was chasing him, however, Kaito caught the tail end of Kokichi slipping into his room. He barely even registered that it was Kokichi's room as he ran right on over to it and pushed inside.

A quick glance told him the room was empty, but he wasn't drunk enough to believe that Kokichi would disappear.

The game of chase became one of hide and seek.

He closed the door behind him, just in case Kokichi would try to sneak by him to continue his game. "Where're you hiding...?" Kaito murmured, watching and listening for him. Under the bed? In the closet? In truth there weren't many places for Kokichi to hide anyway. Yet he didn’t move, and listened instead.

In the quiet room, even the softest little giggle alerted Kaito. He turned his head in the direction of the sound, landing on the closet door.

An excited grin stole across his face and he made for the closet door. If he thought he had any ability to stay stealthy, he would've tried his best to keep silent and try and take him by surprise. However, even he knew he was far too drunk for that. So Kaito yanked the closet door open, and Kokichi gave a squeak when he was found. Before he could bolt, Kaito jumped to wrap his arms around him. "Gotcha!"

Kokichi squeaked again when caught, and he gave a few good wriggles before he gave up, laughing all the while. Kaito found Kokichi's laughter almost contagious, and he started laughing as he tightened his hold on Kokichi.

"Noooo...! I've been caught!" Kokichi whined. He didn't sound all that torn up about it. "Kaito caught meee!"

"I've got you now!" Kaito exclaimed as he stepped back away from the closet. He had picked Kokichi up, who was laughing all the while, and tried to focus on _not_ knocking them both to the floor with his poor balance. On an impulse decision, Kaito tried to carefully deposit Kokichi onto his bed, but ended up practically slamming the other against it from how drunk and uncoordinated he had been. The impact made Kokichi yelp from surprise, but continued laughing.

"So then," Kaito started, hovering over him, a hand caressing the side of Kokichi's face. Kokichi choked on his laughter and stared up at Kaito, his cheeks taking no time at all to burn a dark red. Yet that didn’t deter Kaito from continuing; "I get my kiss now, right?"

"A-ah..." Kokichi failed to speak coherent words at first, blubbering until he took in a deep breath and held it. With an exhale, he nodded and muttered; "Yeah."

In another situation, Kaito might've found the way Kokichi struggled to even find his words amusing. Now though, he was too focused on his goal. That goal being, of course, to kiss the _hell_ out of Kokichi. He thumbed over Kokichi's cheek, and that adorable blush that had come to it. Kokichi looked so _good,_ he decided, and very kissable.

"Good," he breathed out as he leaned down to kiss him, deep and loving.

Kokichi took a second to return the kiss, but when he did, he deepened it even further. Kaito felt his hands start to cling to the front of his shirt and trying to pull him in closer, to which he obliged. Kokichi eventually pulled away, panting, before he pulled Kaito again into another kiss. Then he pulled away again, only to kiss him shortly after. Again, and again, each kiss ended with them parting just long enough to breathe before Kokichi pulled him right back in again.

Something about how Kokichi held onto his shirt, panting and then dragging him back in like he couldn’t get enough, made Kaito’s heart pound. His head spun, and not from lack of air, or from the alcohol.

Well, maybe a _little_ from the alcohol.

“Fuck,” Kaito said with a low exhale, breaking from the kiss. Kokichi only whined, and chase after him, giving him another kiss. That itch had returned, wanting, heat burning through his body. Why had it taken a night of drinking to even realize that irresistible pull from Kokichi? Or was it the kissing, making him feel drunker the more he indulged in it?

Whatever it was, he shoved the thoughts out of his mind, leaning down to press his lips against Kokichi’s neck, kissing, letting his teeth drag lightly over the skin, although he didn’t bite. He remained alert for Kokichi’s reaction—it’d be easy to get lost in kissing him all over, but even through the haze building in his head he didn’t want to do anything that he didn’t like.

He felt Kokichi shudder underneath him, and a sweet moan hit his ears. "K-Kaito..."

Kaito couldn’t stop a low groan from escaping. The heat coiled in his abdomen and warmed his face. Kokichi wrapped his arms around him, grabbed at his shirt, pulled him in closer, and it left him wanting even more.

Kaito started to suck lightly at Kokichi’s neck. He wanted to hear more from him, soft noises of pleasure, his own name—and he got exactly what he wanted.

“Kaito…” Kokichi whispered. Kokichi shuddered again, and his face had darkened to a lovely shade of red. Kokichi’s eyes had briefly fluttered open, but another suck to his skin made them flutter shut with a soft, shaky sigh. He wrapped his arms around Kaito tighter, pulling him closer. When Kaito found that his hips were in between Kokichi’s legs, he bit down another quiet moan of his own.

Everything about Kokichi in that moment was so _enticing._ Every step of the way had Kaito wanting more and more, and he had to briefly wonder if Kokichi was aware of just how alluring he was.

Kaito moved from Kokichi’s neck and back to his lips with a lingering kiss, before pulling back just enough to gaze in Kokichi’s eyes. He looked a little confused and flustered.

“You all good down there?” Kaito murmured, his eyes half-lidded.

"... Ah?" Kokichi didn’t seem to be expecting the question, and he fumbled with his answer as he panted. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Even though Kokichi said he was fine, he looked almost completely overwhelmed. So when Kaito moved back down to kiss his neck, it was softer, slower than before. He peppered gentle kisses all along Kokichi’s skin, and the gentleness earned him soft, sweet little noises that were oh-so addicting.

“Kaito…?” Kokichi was fond of saying his name before, but this time, it sounded like there was a purpose. Kaito kept his attention on him, but still continued to pepper Kokichi’s neck with kisses.

"... Is this real?" Kokichi whispered. His voice sounded so fragile and vulnerable. He could feel Kokichi trembling.

Kaito paused, lingering over Kokichi’s neck for a moment before he brought his face back up. The vulnerability he heard in Kokichi’s voice echoed in his eyes; how they were widened and even full of fear.

“It’s real,” he answered in almost a whisper, affected by the display. Kaito hand returned to the side of Kokichi’s face, drawing his thumb across his cheekbone with slow strokes. He kissed his forehead, surprisingly tender and innocent considering the way he’d kissed Kokichi just a moment ago.

The fear in Kokichi’s eyes died down slightly, and he rested a hand on Kaito’s. "Really...? Is this—is this okay? Is it not... Too fast? Are you okay with this...?"

“It is—I am,” Kaito assured. He swallowed, however, as his stomach did nervous flips at the question of whether it was too fast. Was it? Maybe. Kaito had _just_ realized that his feelings were anything other than platonic and he’d kissed Kokichi for the first time not too long ago.

But now? Now that he’d realized it and gotten a taste? It was a little embarrassing at just how much he _wanted_ Kokichi.

“Are _you_ alright with this?” His eyes gazed down intently at Kokichi’s face, already searching his expression for an answer. “’Cause if not, we can stop.”

“No, no, I’m fine,” Kokichi muttered, and Kaito couldn’t see any hint of dishonesty there. "I'm fine if you are..." Kokichi swallowed a lump in his throat. "It's just... You… You went from like, zero to one-hundred. Not that it's a bad thing—but... Are you sure? Are you really...?”

Kokichi’s voice trailed off, and Kaito waited for him to find his words to continue. However, there were none, nothing except the tremors that got slightly a little worse. Kaito gave him a brief kiss before resting his forehead against Kokichi’s.

He had a rough idea as to what Kokichi wanted to ask, but was too afraid to.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Totally certain.” He could see how his change might make Kokichi nervous in how genuine it was, as abrupt and drastic as it happened. “I don’t want to waste time worrying about shit—I like you, and I want to show you that. I don’t want to hold back, if you’re okay with it, I mean.”

The heat had died down somewhat, from a fierce burn throughout his body into a steady simmer in his chest. He wasn’t sure if what he said made any sense, but it was the best he could do in that moment.

Kaito worried that he was coming onto Kokichi too strong, too fast, and it had probably overwhelmed him. He continued stroking his cheek with his thumb, and he could feel the trembling start to subside as he did. “No pressure, okay? I’m not gonna leave you here or anything.”

Kokichi stared up at Kaito, eyes flickering across his features. He didn’t know what Kokichi was looking for this time, but he either found it, or he didn’t. Tears wet his lashes as he quickly dragged Kaito in for another kiss. Kokichi surprised him with the desperation behind it, and it left him stunned for a moment. This time, however, he managed to not act like a dull lump in his shock, and was quick to reciprocate.

Soon, Kokichi pulled away. "I l-like you, too—" he blubbered out, drunk and emotional. "I l—nng, I've liked you f-for a long time, such... A long time, I... I l—ghh…"

As Kokichi trailed off, Kaito’s gaze softened. ‘ _How long?’_ A part of him wanted to ask, until Kokichi pulled him into another kiss, making him dizzy with the emotion behind it.

He could find out later how long Kokichi had these feelings for him.

“Sorry,” he breathed, hardly breaking the kiss to speak, his lips still brushing Kokichi’s, and when he finished he was right back on him. “Sorry I made ya wait... so long.”

Kokichi chuckled and hushed Kaito, shaking his head slightly before he pulled Kaito back in for another kiss. He lingered there for a moment, but soon he pulled away, and pressed his lips firmly to Kaito’s neck, parting his lips and sucking on it. Kaito held back a moan, biting his lower lip.

"Nngh, Kokichi..." So close. He shifted against Kokichi, their bodies flush. It didn’t help that his own noises emboldened Kokichi to suck a little harder. The heat was almost unbearable, and he found his breath coming faster. "I want you Kokichi."

Kaito heard Kokichi inhale and felt him tense ever so slightly, but soon, Kokichi’s lips were inches from his ear. “ _Nooooo,_ really?" His voice was dripping with sarcasm and slurred from the alcohol. Yet he kept it low, just barely above a whisper. "I had _no_ idea. I thought all of these kisses were just for funsies. Is _that_ why I feel something hard against me? You were just _so_ subtle I didn't even realize." Kaito shivered as Kokichi's breath ghosted over his ear, even while his face burned with mild embarrassment under the teasing.

Pulling his head back, Kaito turned his head to the side to capture Kokichi's lips in another kiss, this one just as much to temporarily silence him as it was for the pleasure of it. Meanwhile, his hand trailed down Kokichi's side, finding a place at his hip. "Shut up, you're such an _ass,"_ he said, insult without bite. Kokichi only chuckled, and it made Kaito feel all the more heated and embarrassed.

"If you're gonna be like that, how about this...?" With a loose grip at Kokichi's side, Kaito lightly rocked his hips against Kokichi's. "...I really want you, and I want—I'm _going_ to make you feel so good, Kokichi." The combination of rocking his hips and the heated words shut Kokichi right up. He choked on his own breath and gasped.

"K... Kaito…" Kokichi’s cheeks had turned and even darker shade of red as he let out a needy whine. "Ghh... Kaito…"

Kaito never realized how easy it could be to get Kokichi to shut up, just from the grind of their hips together. He let out a breathy laugh of amusement, which turned into a quiet moan at the friction between them. He felt burning inside him, that warmed his face and abdomen, was starting to make his mind foggy and made it harder to think.

He simultaneously almost couldn’t bear it and wanted so much _more._

His hand left its place at Kokichi’s hip, and he shifted so that he could slip his fingers under the hem of his shirt, brushing over the bare skin beneath it. Kokichi gave a soft yelp, but he whimpered soon after. Damn, they were both still _fully clothed_ and Kaito felt like he’d explode.

As much as he wanted to pretend at being cool and composed, he couldn’t hide just how affected he was from kissing and pressing against Kokichi. He bit his lip, looking up at Kokichi’s expression, blushing and unable to speak aside from repeating Kaito’s name.

He brushed his lips over Kokichi’s jawline, and eyed his face as he spoke, his heated breath unfurling against Kokichi’s skin. “Still doin’ good?”

Kokichi looked up at him, looking so dazed and confused. It took him a few seconds to collect himself, panting before he whispered; "N-no."

Kaito was prepared to back off when he heard the initial ‘no’ come from Kokichi’s mouth. He pulled his hand back, nearly slipping out of Kokichi’s shirt again, lifting his head to get a good look at his face. He was about to speak, when Kokichi continued; "'C-cause you stopped kissin' me, and y-you're... Gh..." Kokichi panted and whined. He fumbled over his words, almost like he was forgetting how to speak in the middle of the heat. "Just... Kiss me. Kiss me. Don't _stop_ kissing me. _Please."_

“… _Damn,_ Kokichi,” Kaito murmured, drawn in once again. His hand sliding farther up Kokichi’s shirt than before. The way Kokichi looked, panting and whining underneath Kaito with heat that burned through both of them, was downright _irresistible._ “Do you even know how fuckin’ good you look right now?” Without giving him a chance to respond, Kaito obliged his need for a kiss, pressing his mouth against Kokichi’s.

Kokichi whimpered into the open-mouthed kiss, trembling as Kaito slid his hand further and further up Kokichi’s side. He tasted sweet, like the candy and cake they had earlier mixed with hints of alcohol. Then Kaito started to slide his hand down, down to Kokichi’s thigh. Kaito pressed their hips together again, and started to slowly grind them together. Even though both of them still had their pants on, Kaito could feel Kokichi was just as aroused as he was.

Kokichi must have felt it too, because he immediately started snickering. “Ehe… y-you’re sure happy to see me. I bet—nnn...” A soft groan interrupted him when Kaito grinded into him a little harder. “M-man… is this all you can do to me? I’m getting a little bored of it, you know.”

“Cheeky bastard,” Kaito grumbled, before he promptly shut Kokichi up with a kiss. “You’re bored, already? Well—“ Kaito shifted, pulled away from Kokichi and moving to the side a little. Before Kokichi could even raise a brow at him, Kaito rested his hand on Kokichi’s crotch, and started rubbing him through the fabric. “Let’s try _this_ out, instead.”

Kokichi sharply gasped upon the contact, but panted and moaned _._ Kokichi’s body would twitch every so often as Kaito continued, and he would shiver after each time he did. At first, Kokichi’s noises as soft and sweet as ever, but soon, even those lovely little sounds faded into silence.

The quiet concerned Kaito a little, but when he looked over Kokichi’s face, he looked like he was absolutely enjoying every second of it. His eyes were closed, and Kokichi was quietly panting. Every so often, the slightest hint of a moan would escape from his lips, but it was nothing like the sounds he was making before.

The silence was still too nerve-wracking, either way. Better safe than sorry. Kaito stopped, and quickly looked over Kokichi’s face again. “Hey, you okay?”

Kokichi’s eyes blinked opened, looking confused and bewildered. He was still panting, and after a moment, he grumbled with a pout; “Nnn… n-no, ‘cause you stopped _again._ It felt so good, why—why’d you stop?”

“You went real quiet on me for a second there, and I got worried.”

“Gh…” Kokichi’s cheeks somehow grew to be a darker shade of red. He looked embarrassed, turning his head away and pouting more. “That’s… that’s fine, jeez. I just get… I get quiet when I’m _really_ into it, okay?”

Kaito raised a brow. “Huh, really?” He lifted his hand to rest it on Kokichi’s cheek, and gently encouraged him to turn his head and face him again. He gave him an apologetic kiss. “Sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were still doin’ good.”

“Gah… It’s so sappy and sweet, I think I’m gonna _gag,”_ Kokichi complained, but he definitely didn’t object to the second kiss Kaito gave him. Though even when Kaito pulled away, Kokichi was still pouting. “You don’t need to keep checkin’ on me, you know. I’ll _tell_ you if something’s wrong.”

“Can’t help it. Just don’t wanna do somethin’ you don’t like.”

Kokichi only whined in response, before pulling Kaito into another open-mouth kiss. One of his hands found its way into Kaito’s hair, combing through it and even loosely gripping at it while his other hand rested on Kaito’s back. It encouraged Kaito to come in closer, but apparently not close enough. Kokichi pressed his body up against him as much as he could possibly manage.

Kaito had to use every ounce of his will power to resist groaning. He didn’t think he could take it anymore.

He pulled away from Kokichi, and haphazardly pulled his own shirt over his head, and quickly threw it on the floor. Though a strangled whine from Kokichi caught his attention, and he looked glanced over to his face.

Kokichi’s lips were pressed into a tight line, and while his blush was as dark as it had been, Kaito noticed that his hands were shaking.

“Huh? Hey,” Kaito’s face twisted with concern as he leaned back over him and resting a hand over his. “You okay? What’s up?”

Kokichi looked away, laughing nervously. Kaito can almost see the lie preparing itself on his lips, about to dismiss his discomfort, but it never came. He could only feel more tremors in those thin, delicate fingers.

Kaito stayed where he was, waiting for an answer that Kokichi was clearly having a hard time giving. Soon, Kokichi squeezed his eyes shut. “It’s stupid.”

“No it’s not.” Kaito’s frown deepened. “C’mon. What’s up? Do you wanna stop?”

“No, no, that’s not...” Kokichi shook his head. “I don’t want to stop, just… guh.”

“Well, then what’s wrong? You just said you’d tell me if something was up...”

“ _Uuuuugh...”_ Kokichi grumbled something under his breath, complaints Kaito assumed, before he quietly muttered; “… Scars.”

“Huh?”

“I have scars.” Kokichi never once opened his eyes. In fact, he tried to squeeze them shut even further. “The… the avatar in the killing game didn’t have them, so you never saw, but. I have scars. Like, all over. On my chest, my back… all over.”

Kaito was a little taken back by the admission—not that he was surprised to hear it, he knew of Kokichi’s past. He knew of the terrible abuse he suffered through by the hands of his birth father. What he _was_ surprised about, however, was that Kokichi was so nervous in admitting it.

“You think I care about that kind of stuff?” He squeezed Kokichi’s hand. “’Cause I don’t.”

“No, I don’t, and that’s why it’s _stupid,”_ Kokichi grumbled. “I just don’t… I don’t want you gawking at me when I take my shirt off, okay? So _don’t._ ”

“I won’t, I won’t.” Releasing Kokichi’s hand, he moved to rest it against Kokichi’s cheek. “Hey, look at me.” It took a little bit of coaxing, but finally, Kokichi opened his eyes and turned his head to face him. “I promise. I ain’t gonna gawk at anything. Promise.”

Kokichi didn’t look all that convinced. His lips were still curled into a frown, and he glanced away.

Kaito frowned when Kokichi looked away. “Y’know, you don’t… have to take off your shirt, if it bothers you that much.”

Kokichi’s gaze met his own again, and he grumbled something under his breath before he moved, and unbuttoned the collar of his shirt.

“Hey, I mean it,” Kaito insisted. “I’m fine with whatever. I think you look good no matter what you do.”

The compliment made Kokichi snort. Finally, a smile returned to his lips. “You already promised not to gawk at me, so it’s fine. Besides...” Kokichi moved his hand to cup Kaito’s face, and he pulled him in closer to steal a kiss from him. “How will you kiss me all over if I’m wearing a goddamn shirt?”

“Still, not that big of a deal dude. I mean...” Kaito couldn’t stop the grin that formed on his face. “There are _other_ places I could kiss.”

One second passed. Then another. Finally, the joke registered in Kokichi’s mind, and his entire face went red as he choked on his own breath. His reaction made Kaito burst out into laughter, and he nuzzled his face into the crook of Kokichi’s neck.

“You _ass,”_ Kokichi grumbled. “Geez, Kaito, I didn’t think you were such a _pervert._ Should I be concerned? You’re not gonna pull out some insane kinks on me all of a sudden, are you? I don’t think my poor, fragile body could handle it.”

“Yeah, you really _wouldn’t_ be able to handle much, with how tiny you are...”

“Hey! _Rude!”_

The banter was refreshing, and Kaito couldn’t stop snickering. Not even as he kissed Kokichi’s neck.

“Ugh, you think neck kisses are gonna save you?” Kokichi was _absolutely_ pouting. Kaito could just hear it in his voice, even as he bit down quiet moans. “You’ll regret this night, space nerd.”

“Mhm...” Kaito might have continued the bantering if he hadn’t gotten lost in kissing Kokichi’s neck. As he trailed further up, he felt Kokichi shudder, until Kaito caught his lips in another kiss. He slid his hand up Kokichi’s shirt, was immediately met with a whimper.

Kokichi pulled away, panting softly. “Geez, you r-really love putting your hands all over me, don’t you?”

“You bet your ass I do.”

“Ugh, fine, move for a sec,” Kokichi pushed Kaito away, and when Kaito gave him room, he sat up and started to unbutton his shirt again.

“Hey, I told you, it’s fine if you don’t—“

“Kaito, shut up,” Kokichi interrupted. He glanced up at Kaito’s face for a brief moment before his eyes fell again. “I want to. I want… you to kiss me, all over, as much as you want.”

Kaito decided to drop it, since Kokichi seemed to have his mind made up. Slowly, Kokichi unbuttoned his shirt, and slowly, Kaito saw the scars Kokichi was so worried about.

They were all old and mostly faded, but still easily visible. There were quite a few, but they weren’t “all over” like Kokichi had described. Then again, this _was_ Kokichi after all. He probably felt any amount of scars was too much.

For someone with such a strong mask, Kokichi was quite fragile and insecure. Always so anxious, even when he could hide it behind a smile. Afraid of letting others in and being hurt from the vulnerability. Well, there was a reason why he had the mask to begin with.

Kokichi finally wriggled his arms out of the sleeves, but he refused to look up at Kaito. He kept his head bowed, face hidden under his bangs, and shoulders tense.

Kaito gave him a minute, but he didn’t seem like he was going to stop hiding on his own any time soon. So, quietly, and oh so gently, he brought his hand to Kokichi’s chin, and gently made him look up.

Kokichi looked afraid as his eyes searched, flickering all across Kaito’s features. Soon, though, the fear in his eyes subsided. Quietly, as if a single word could break them apart, they leaned forward and met each other in a gentle kiss.

When they pulled apart, Kaito felt breathless, and his head started spinning all over again. He brought Kokichi in for another kiss, then another, and then another. Each kiss becoming more heated than the last, and when Kaito pulled away again, he immediately dipped down to kiss Kokichi’s neck.

“You look so fucking _good,_ ” he breathed, peppering kisses from Kokichi’s neck, to his shoulder, his collarbone, and then to his chest. “ _Fuck._ I want you so bad. I want to make you feel so good.”

“Nnng… Th-then _do_ it already, damn it,” Kokichi whined. “Y-you’ve been teasing me for so long, I—gh...” Kokichi’s back arched slightly when Kaito started sucking on his collarbone. “Ah… fuck. _Fuck._ Kaito… Nng, K-Kaito...”

Kaito’s only response was to suck harder, and Kokichi gasped and groaned. It seemed like whatever Kokichi was going to say was lost under all of the heat.

Yet as much as Kaito loved it, anxiety knotted in his stomach. He didn’t know where to go from there. Beyond kissing Kokichi and the grinding, he had no idea what to do. Kaito’s kisses slowed as he moved back up to kiss Kokichi’s neck, planting firm but hesitant kisses there.

Lost in his own thoughts, Kaito didn’t notice it when Kokichi’s hands moved to the waistband of his pants, and unbuttoned them. Only when he felt the fabric loosen around his waist did he notice. “Ah—Kokichi…”

“Hmmm? What? You were taking too long, so I thought I’d help speed things up a little,” Kokichi said with a smirk. “For someone who _can’t wait_ to fuck me, you’re soooo slow.”

“Shut up,” Kaito grumbled. Now he was the one shaking, but it wasn’t from anticipation or the heat.

Kokichi paused, blinked, and tilted his head. “Nervous?”

“N-no,” Kaito stuttered, and he had to resist cursing under his breath. He clenched the fabric of the bedding under his fingers before immediately relaxing them, hoping to relieve the tension. The face Kokichi was making told him that he didn’t believe him for one second. “… Okay, maybe a little bit.”

“… Aww, is Kaito having first time jitters? This is your first time doing something like _this,_ huh?” Kokichi teased, bringing more heat and embarrassment to Kaito’s face. Though soon the mischief in Kokichi’s smile vanished, and he whispered; “You’re doing fine. Relax, okay?”

Kaito didn’t know if the reassurance helped or not. Either way, he gave a quiet nod.

A quiet hum passed Kokichi’s lips, before he smiled brightly. “You know, you’ve done a loooot of things to make _me_ feel good, but I don’t think I’ve been doin’ much to keep up. So, now...”

Kokichi pressed a hand to Kaito’s shoulder, encouraging him to flip over onto his back. Now, Kokichi was the one looming over him.

“… It’s _my_ turn.”

Kokichi dipped down and immediately pressed his lips to Kaito’s neck. Kaito inhaled, sharp and quick, before he let out a wavering sigh. Once he relaxed, Kokichi started kissing all over his neck. He was slow and firm with his kisses. Every once in a while, he would part his lips to lightly suck on Kaito’s skin. Several times Kaito had to swallow down a moan or groan from how good it all felt.

Meanwhile, Kokichi’s hand moved. Down, down, until Kaito felt Kokichi’s fingers slip in between the hem of his pants and his hip. Kaito tensed, and almost immediately, Kokichi stopped.

“You okay?” Kokichi’s voice was low, laced with mild concern. “You still nervous?”

“Fine, just… fine,” Kaito mumbled. “It’s fine.”

“Hmm…” Kokichi pulled away, frowning softly. “I thought kissing your neck would help you relax. Guess not.”

“I… I don’t want to stop or anything, just. You know…”

As Kaito trailed off, Kokichi’s frown only deepened. He seemed lost in thought, before he finally hummed. “Would telling you what I want to do to you help?”

Kaito’s face felt like it was on fire from the offer. Just thinking about it made him twitch with anticipation. “Uh. Maybe. Sure.”

His uncertainty kept Kokichi at bay for a moment, before he smiled. It was reassuring for a moment, but just before Kokichi dipped down again, it turned into something a little more naughty.

“Hmm… where oh where do I start?” Kokichi’s breath ghosted his ear, making Kaito shiver. “Well, I want to make you feel good. Better than you’ve ever felt before in your entire life.”

Swallowing a nervous lump in his throat, Kaito gave a shaky laugh, and muttered; “Well, being vague isn’t gonna get you anywhere.”

“Oh ho ho, is that a challenge?” Kokichi purred. “Then, what about me sucking you off? Licking every _inch_ of you, and then taking as much of you as physically possible into my mouth.”

Well, that might do it.

Kaito’s whole body tensed from the description, and the intense, burning sensation Kokichi’s breath and words made him twitch. Before he could stop himself, Kaito groaned, and his embarrassment deepened.

“Ohh, you look like you like that idea, hmm?” Kokichi teased. “It wouldn’t stop there, though. I’d stop and lick you all over again before your dick went back into my mouth. Rinse and repeat. Over and over, until your so hard that you can’t _stand_ it anymore.” Kokichi’s teasing, enticing word were burning through his abdomen, and Kaito absentmindedly rested his hands on Kokichi’s hips. “You would barely be able to wait long enough to put a condom on and lube up. Then, I’ll sit on you. Let it slide aaaall the way inside. I’d start fucking you so good that you can’t think of _anythin’_ else.”

Kokichi giggled, and playfully nipped at his ear. Not hard enough to hurt, but sudden and sharp enough to make Kaito gasp. “The rest from there? Hmm, well, I gotta give you _some_ motivation to get there. Otherwise, you might just end up makin’ a mess in your pants instead. That wouldn’t be fun at all, would it?”

“Gh, Kokichi…” His head was spinning. He felt so dizzy. His mind felt like it was going blank behind a heavy haze. Kaito didn’t know what to say to that, to any of it. All he could think about was how much he _wanted_ it.

“God, damn, _yes,”_ Kaito breathed. “Yes, do—do all of that. Fuck.”

“Hmm? I didn’t hear a please, Kaito.”

“You fucking little…” Words failed him as his breath got heavy. “Fine, _please._ Please, god, I want—I want it.”

“Hmm, now, I _coooould_ make you beg more,” Kokichi teased. “But I think you might actually _die_ if I did that right now.” Kokichi pulled away, and when his eyes fell on Kaito’s face, he groaned. “... Man, that’s… that’s a real good look on you, Kaito. Whoever said talking during sex couldn’t be _sexy_ was a downright liar.”

“Can—can you just—fucking—”

“Yeah, yeah, get to fucking _you,_ right?” Kokichi snickered before he stole a kiss. When he pulled away, however, he whispered; “Not gonna lie… a lot of this is all a first for me, too.”

Before Kaito could even think about what that meant, however, Kokichi was all ready off of him, hands on the hem of Kaito’s pants with a grin on his face. “I can’t do anything with your pants on, though. Well, I guess I _technically_ can, but I bet it’d be more comfortable if you ditched them.”

With how foggy Kaito’s mind had been from the heat and alcohol, he barely registered slipping off his pants and boxers and discarding them to the floor. However, the chill of the air hit him, and it became sharp and clear in his mind that he was now sitting _entirely naked_ in front of Kokichi.

Maybe it was silly, all things considered, but he felt vulnerable and exposed. The embarrassment and insecurity tensed up his limbs a little. At first, he just couldn’t _look,_ almost afraid of what he might see if he did. The initial flare up of insecurity died down after a few seconds, however, when he noticed Kokichi didn’t immediately start.

Upon finally looking down, he saw Kokichi looming over him, in between his legs and mouth just mere _inches_ away from the tip of his erection. That fact might have heated Kaito’s face more, if it wasn’t for the way Kokichi’s eyes had widened and his lips were pursed together into an uneasy line. The words Kokichi said before rang in his ears, and Kaito had to wonder just how nervous Kokichi was himself about the entire encounter.

Kokichi’s eyes flickered up to meet Kaito’s, and after a beat, he started grinning. “Man, you’re pretty hard already… I wasn’t expecting you to be so _easy!”_ Kaito didn’t miss the slight waver in Kokichi’s voice. He was clearly nervous, and Kaito didn’t want to scare him off by jabbing at him or becoming defensive—even though he was _definitely_ not _easy._ Kokichi was just trying to break the tension to settle his own nerves.

Or, at least, that’s what Kaito assumed.

“Sooo, ready to be literally _blown away?_ ” The pun actually made Kaito laugh. Kokichi started snickering too. “Okay, even I know that was bad.”

“Yeah, you think?” Kaito shook his head. “That was _awful.”_

“Hey, what can I say?” Kokichi’s grin widened. “You bring out the worst in me. I’m normally _actually_ funny, you know. Ugh! You’re the _worst!_ ”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s not like you’re just _bad_ at telling jokes, or anything.”

“Wow! Kaito is soooo meeean!” Kokichi’s whining and pouting only made Kaito laugh again. “Makin’ fun of me… well, now I _really_ gotta make you regret it.”

Before Kaito could even think of a response, however, Kokichi lowered his head and pressed his tongue against him. Kaito’s gasp was short and sputtered, and he nearly choked from the sudden sensation. He didn’t even manage to process it before Kokichi dragged his tongue slowly across the tip, and Kaito couldn’t even think to hold back a quiet groan.

Kokichi glanced up again, an impish little smile turning the corners of his lips before he licked him again, in the same way. Teasing, and oh-so _slow_ that it was almost unbearable as it was. Kokichi shifted closer, and slid his hands up and down Kaito’s thighs. He continued his slow, teasing licking all the while, and Kaito had to bite down every urge to moan from the sensation. It was warm, wet, and such a strange and foreign feeling. It was like nothing he had ever felt in his entire life, and it felt so _good_.

After a couple more licks, Kokichi decided to move down to lick the other parts of him with the same pace. Teasing his tongue over the sensitive skin, trailing down to the base and then back up again, Kokichi was really making good on his word that he would lick him all over—and it was driving Kaito mad.

“Fuck, Kokichi—” he panted. “It—it’s so good, god, f-fuck.”

Kokichi only hummed in response, his mouth a little too preoccupied for words, as he continued to lick Kaito. Soon, he pulled his head away, and grinned. “You think _that_ feels good? The wait ‘til you feel _this.”_

When Kokichi moved again, he pressed his tongue to the underside of the ridge, and flicked his tongue against it. Kaito gasped and shuttered, fingers gripping tightly at the sheets beneath them. The start of a groan made its way out, but Kaito choked back the rest of it.

“Huuuh? Hey, Kaito, that felt _good,_ right?” Kokichi purred, teasing and enticing all at once. “But you know… I get the feeling you’re holding out on me.”

Flustered and panting, Kaito stared at Kokichi with a little bewilderment. “W-what?”

“You keep resisting to moan,” Kokichi pointed out, smirking before he flicked his tongue against the _oh so sensitive_ spot again. It was so sudden that Kaito gasped again. “You think I wouldn’t notice that? You get more flustered when it slips out, too… Hey, are you embarrassed by the noises you make, Kaito?”

Kaito wasn’t even given a chance to respond. Kokichi licked the spot again, pressing his tongue a little harder to it and dragging it slowly across—and he kept doing it, firmly drawing his tongue over it again and again. Kaito couldn’t find it in him to think of a come back or denial at that point.

“Fuck— _fuck,_ damn, that—” A moan broke though, and he felt the embarrassment coil in his stomach. “K—Kokichi, that feels so good, _shit.”_

Kokichi shivered, moaning softly as he continued to focus on that sweet spot. The more he did, the more foggy Kaito’s mind felt, and the more moans and groans were escaping from him.

“Mmm… You sound so good, Kaito,” Kokichi breathed, before licking him again. “I like hearing you. Even if you’re sooo embarrassed, making you feel so good that you can’t help but to moan more anyway… I wanna make you feel so good, I wanna hear more.”

Finally, Kokichi moved his head again, and with his lips parted, took Kaito into his mouth. His eyes fluttered closed. He didn’t go far, only stopping at the base of the tip, but it was still enough to make Kaito inhale sharply and moan a little louder.

Kokichi moved a hand to wrap his fingers around the base, and then he took Kaito deeper into his mouth. He didn’t get much further down, maybe only a couple more inches or so, but every inch he could was more than enough for Kaito. Wet, warm, tight—it was all such a new sensation, but that hardly even mattered when it continued to feel absolutely amazing either way. He didn’t know how it could get much better than that, but then Kokichi started sucking. Kaito learned very quickly that it could get _so much_ better.

After lightly sucking, Kokichi started to bob his head. He started slow, so painstakingly slow, but it didn’t take long at all to pick up a faster rhythm—but then he stopped, and returned to licking him instead. Rinse and repeat, over and over. Kokichi kept his word, going from licking him to sucking him off only to pause and start licking him all over again.

Finally, Kokichi pulled away completely. “I think that’s enough foreplay,” he said, sounding a little breathless. “Hang here a sec, okay?”

Kokichi didn’t give him much of a choice before he shifted, almost hopping off of the bed and falling onto his hands and knees to look under it.

A little lost and bewildered, Kaito raised a brow. “What… what are you doing?”

“Looking for lube and condoms? Geez, you think I have many places in this room for a secret drawer full of sex-related goodies? No such luck; Miu snagged the room with a secret hatch for sex toys.”

Kaito scowled. “Do you have to insult her every chance you get?”

“Absolutely. It’s in the contract.” Kokichi said without missing a beat. “Also—not insulting her, it’s just a fact of life that she’d sniff out and steal the room with a sex dungeon.”

“I thought it was a secret hatch?”

“Eh, details.” Kokichi reached under the bed and groaned. “Guh. How did the stupid bag get all the way to the wall? Damn it—” Kokichi crawled halfway under the bed. “Almost—ha! Got it!”

From under the bed he pulled out a large, black, plastic bag. Kaito went to lean over to look inside of it, but Kokichi immediately took out a small box and threw it at him, hitting Kaito right smack in his face.

“Gah! Seriously?” Kaito rubbed his nose from the impact and picked up the box. It was an unopened box of condoms. “Uh— _oh.”_

“Tell me if those don’t fit right; I’ve got all sorts of sizes.” Kokichi pulled out another box and a bottle of some kind. “Uh… water based. Right, this one.”

“Wait, hold on a second—” Kaito’s eyes rose to meet Kokichi’s. “Why do you have so many? And in different sizes?”

“Ooooh, do you wanna know the truth?” Kokichi grinned. “The truth is, I’m actually able to look into the future, and I saw that I was going to seduce you! So I prepared ahead of time.”

Kaito only glared at Kokichi. He didn’t need to even say that he didn’t believe the lie for even a moment. Finally, Kokichi relented, and looked away with a blush on his face.

“Okay, okay. Me and Shuichi have… done some things, and when we first—well. You know. I didn’t know what to… get? So I just picked a random brand of condoms that had solid reviews and bought one in every size, and a bunch of different kinds of lube—”

As Kokichi elaborated, Kaito started snickering. When Kokichi finally noticed, he pouted and whined. “Hey! Don’t laugh at me! It was my first time, I didn’t know what to get, or what he’d want to do! I had to make sure I was ready for anything, otherwise it would have been ruined!”

Kokichi’s embarrassment and displeasure only made Kaito laugh harder. Kokichi whined and groaned before he buried his face into the side of the bed, hiding. “Stooooop, stop laughing at me—you’re soooo mean!”

Kaito only continued to snicker and laugh. “That’s _adorable,_ ” Kaito said, placing a hand on Kokichi’s head. “You’re _really_ adorable. Like, I can’t believe how adorable you are. I could kiss you.”

“Gah, it buuuurns!” Kokichi whined into the mattress. “I’m dying, Kaito. You’re killin’ me.”

“I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m really not.”

“You’re the _worst.”_ Kokichi didn’t even move his face to chuck the bottle he was holding randomly onto the bed. He missed Kaito’s knee by an inch. “Here, just—put on a condom and if it fits, lube up, before I really die from embarrassment.”

Kaito rolled his eyes, chuckling before he leaned over and started to thread his fingers through Kokichi’s hair. “Hey. Nothin’ wrong with being cute. Besides, if it wasn’t for that, we’d be totally screwed right now.”

The gentle touches and reassurance made Kokichi finally move his face from the mattress, just barely enough to see Kaito with his eyes. After a moment, he pulled away completely with a little smirk. “You mean, we _wouldn’t_ be screwed. Heh.”

With a snort, Kaito ruffled Kokichi’s hair, which made him whine and pout. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You know you love it.”

Kaito laughed as he pulled his hand away, but the word made his chest tighten with nerves. _Love._ Now that the word had been said, he found his mind fixating on it, and the question it brought along for the ride.

Did he _love_ Kokichi? That question was harder to answer than he thought. He was lost in it, silently obsessing over it as he prepared himself as Kokichi instructed. Was he in love with Kokichi? Was that a question he could even answer, considering that not even the day before everything between them was something he saw as strictly platonic?

Before he could answer that question, he felt a finger poking at his cheek.

“Heeey, Earth to Kaitooo,” Kokichi teased. He was back on the bed with him again, leaning over to him. Aside from the condom he put on himself—for easier cleanup, Kaito assumed—he was completely naked. “Man, it’s no wonder why they called you the ‘Ultimate Astronaut.’ You’re head’s always up in the clouds!”

“Huh?” Kaito blinked, and glanced away. “Uh. Oh. Sorry.”

“Hmm…” Before he knew it, Kokichi crawled into his lap, straddling him and resting his hands on Kaito’s shoulders. His cheeks felt like they were burning from how close and intimate they were being. “Well, I want you to pay attention to _me_ now. The main event’s about to start, and I want your eyes on me the whoooole time, okay?”

A smile tugged at the edge of Kaito’s lips before he closed the gap in between his and Kokichi’s. The kiss had Kokichi whimpering softly when he finally pulled away. “Yeah, of course.”

Kokichi whined softly before he pulled Kaito in for another kiss, messy and needy for more. More, more, he pulled away only to pull them back together again. Kokichi wrapped his arms around Kaito’s neck and Kaito wrapped his around Kokichi’s waist. When they pulled apart again, Kokichi breath was hot and heavy, and his eyes looked a little hazy from the heat.

Kaito looked over Kokichi again, burning every inch of his body into his memory. Those scars on his skin, how _small_ Kokichi was in his arms, how fragile and vulnerable he looked, and Kaito felt his stomach do a weird flip.

His hands shook with nerves, and it seemed like Kokichi noticed it immediately. “Getting nervous again?”

“No...”

“You know, you’re a waaay worse liar when you’re drunk,” Kokichi purred. He leaned in closer, his lips just grazing over Kaito’s. He was grinning. “What’s got you nervous now? Do I need to talk dirty to you again?”

Kaito’s cheeks felt even hotter from the suggestion, but he shook his head. “No, just… I guess I’m worried.”

“Worried? About what?”

Kaito rested his hands on Kokichi’s hips and swallowed. “About… you?”

“Me?” Kokichi pulled away, eyes widened and brows furrowed. “Why’s that?”

“Well, uh...” Kaito drummed his fingers, and hummed quietly. “I don’t… want to hurt you?”

He didn’t miss the way Kokichi’s face twisted with bewilderment. “Wait… what?”

“I don’t want to hurt you?” Kaito repeated lamely. “I mean—I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never done anything like this before.”

Kokichi only snorted. “And you think you’re gonna hurt me?”

“Well, _no,_ not intentionally...” His eyes fell from Kokichi’s, unable to look into that intense gaze. “I _really_ don’t want to hurt you. You’ve been through enough pain as it is, too much of it. I only wanna make you feel good, for once—I just. I don’t know.” Kaito’s thumb traced over one of the scars on Kokichi’s hips. “I don’t want to add on to that. Not when I want you to feel amazing.”

He didn’t look back up to Kokichi’s face, not immediately. Kaito knew It was a sensitive admission, one that surely drew attention to those faded marks Kokichi was so worried about to begin with. When Kokichi didn’t say anything, it made Kaito all the more nervous. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore, and raised his eyes to meet Kokichi’s.

He was on the verge of tears.

Alarm and panic coursed through Kaito’s limbs and he tensed. The tears were just barely visible, making Kokichi’s lashes wet and clinging to the corners of his eyes. “You...”

“Ah, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—” Kaito fumbled, instinctively gripping onto Kokichi a little tighter than he had been before. “I know it bothers you, I wasn’t gawking at them or anything, but—”

“—You _sap.”_

Kaito blinked once, then twice, before his brows furrowed. “… Huh?”

Kokichi only started laughing as the tears finally broke free and streamed down his face. “You’re—you’re such a sweet, cheesy, thoughtful _sap,_ and it—I, I just—”

With a loud whine, Kokichi pulled Kaito in for another desperate kiss. Like before when he was overwhelmed with emotion, he started blubbering out incoherent thoughts and words when he pulled away. “I just—I l—gh, I like… no, I l—nng, god damn it,” he hissed, frustrated at his inability to say whatever he was trying to say. “You’re so… you’re so _good,_ and I… I just, I…”

Kaito hushed him, pulling Kokichi into another kiss that he so desperately needed. When he pulled away, Kokichi only chased after him to kiss him again. Again and again, each time the kiss getting deeper and deeper.

While Kaito was distracted by their heated kisses, Kokichi’s hand slid down, until he felt his fingers curl around the base of him, and Kaito inhaled sharply.

“I want—I want you to make me feel good,” Kokichi whispered, still fueled by emotions as he hovered his hips just above him. As he slowly lowered them until Kaito felt him against the tip. “Please. Please make me feel good. Make—make me feel so good that I can’t even think. I want you inside me. I want you to make love to me. _Please.”_

The phrasing went right over Kaito’s head as he felt himself slip inside of Kokichi. It started slow, _painfully_ slow, but once the tip was in, the rest slid in with ease. Kaito could barely choke down the groan that tried so desperately to escape as his fingers lightly gripped onto Kokichi’s thighs.

“Ah...” Kokichi shuddered. “K… Kaito...”

Kokichi’s hands found their way back to rest on Kaito’s shoulders, yet Kokichi didn’t move otherwise. He was panting and whining, and his eyes closed.

Kaito only frowned. “Kokichi? You okay?”

Whimpering softly, Kokichi nodded before he buried his face into Kaito’s shoulder. “It feels—it feels kind of weird.”

“Weird…?”

“Nng, yeah… I’ve never—no one has ever...” He whimpered again, and pressed a firm kiss to Kaito’s collarbone. “This is the first time someone’s… that I let someone inside me, like this...”

“Your first…?” Kaito wasn’t sure why the admission was so surprising to him. Kokichi had admitted it before, that a lot of what they were doing was all new to him. “But, you and Shuichi—”

“I’m the one going in him when we do things together,” he clarified, as if it was an obvious fact. “He never… we, we never tried anything else, so this is the first time...”

Kaito hushed him again, before he pulled Kokichi into an open mouthed kiss. In the middle of the kiss, Kokichi started rocking his hips back and forth, and Kaito gasped.

“Sh-shit, Kokichi,” Kaito groaned. Kokichi was panting, breath hot and heavy against Kaito’s lips as he completely refusing to stop the motion. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

Kokichi shivered with a quiet moan, and pressed his lips back against Kaito’s. Wrapping his arms around Kaito’s neck, Kokichi started moving his hips up and down. Raising them so high that Kaito thought he might slip out, and then letting them fall until all of Kaito was back inside of him. Up and down, again and again, all the while keeping his own mouth busy with Kaito’s. Kokichi had no shame in softly moaning into their kisses, but Kaito struggled with keeping down the grunts and soft groaning his own voice wanted to share.

It was nothing like he had ever felt before. It was warm, so warm to be inside of Kokichi, and the pressure he felt as he slid in and out of him was so tight. Soon, Kaito started bucking his hips to meet with Kokichi’s as he rode him, and a few of those thrusts invoked Kokichi to gasp and groan whenever Kaito managed to hit that sweet spot.

“Fuck, _fuck…!_ Kokichi—shit, it’s so good…!” Even though Kaito felt the need to be vocal, to express just how _good_ Kokichi was making him feel, he resisted raising his voice to be above a harsh whisper. “You feel so _good.”_

Kaito’s words had Kokichi pause and shiver before he started right back up again. While Kokichi wasn’t completely silent, he had definitely become nonverbal. The exact opposite of Kaito, only focused on sliding up and down and the sensations that came along with it.

He noticed that Kokichi’s movements were getting a little rougher, faster, and a little more careless and clumsy the more he got into it. He wasn’t taking the time to think about what he was doing, only acting on his own desire and instinct.

Soon, Kokichi had gone completely silent. It worried Kaito at first, but then he remembered what Kokichi said—the silence was a good thing. He was thoroughly enjoying himself.

With the quickened pace, however, came quick exhaustion. Kokichi normally had a lot of energy to burn, but once that reservoir was out, that was it. Kokichi was sweating and panting, practically _gasping_ for air as he finally slowed to a stop. He leaned against Kaito, burying his reddened face into the crook of his neck while whimpering.

“Tired already?” Kaito teased, snickering when Kokichi whined at him. Kaito wrapped his arms around him. “That didn’t take long.”

“Sh… shut up,” Kokichi blubbered. “Don’t… don’t tease me, you always tire me out. You know that. And besides, _I’m_ doing all of the work here! You’re just… you’re...” His voice trailed off, apparently too worn out to continue the banter. “Ugh. Just, give me a minute to breathe, okay?”

“All right, all right.” Kaito gave Kokichi a light squeeze. He started giving Kokichi kisses to his neck, shoulder, jaw—where ever his lips could make contact with his skin, he planted a kiss there. Kokichi was completely slack against him, lightly panting and whining.

After a minute or two, Kaito whispered; “You doing okay?”

Kokichi only nodded once, but he really did look worn out. Kaito gave him a minute, fighting the hunger for more as he remained patient with him before he hummed.

“Hey… maybe I could, uh...” The heat in his face returned, embarrassed by the idea in his head. “I mean, you could… I could try to, uh.”

Kokichi lifted his head to look up at him, blinking a few times before grinning. “Are you saying you want me on my hands and knees?”

Oh, did Kaito’s face just get darker.

Before he could even reply, Kokichi was snickering. “I didn’t think you’d be into something like ‘doggy style!’ Then again, I guess that’s not weird. It _is_ a popular sex position for a reason! So I guess you’re just basic as hell. And here I thought you were gonna be really kinky!”

“Shut it,” Kaito warned. “Do you want it or not?”

“Hmm...” He pretended to contemplate it for a moment, but Kaito could see Kokichi’s cheeks darken as well. “It could be fun. I’ve never tried it before, so…”

“Well, if it’s not any good, you gotta tell me.” Kaito planted a soft kiss on Kokichi’s lips. “Okay?”

“Geez! I’m not the kind of guy who sits there and takes it when I don’t like it,” Kokichi said, pouting. “But… the sentiment's the same for you.”

With that, Kokichi slipped off of him, and shuddered before he got into the next position. Though he seemed to have a slightly different idea in mind, balancing his body on his knees and forearms instead of his hands. Not that it mattered much to Kaito, but he suspected that Kokichi didn’t have the energy to properly prop himself up.

Kaito moved closer, but the shift of the bed made Kokichi tense. Before he could ask, Kokichi whispered; “Gentle…”

He was taken off guard, but in the end, Kaito wasn’t at all surprised. It was one thing for Kokichi to be in control, but now, he was no longer in that position of power. It took a lot of trust for Kokichi to give someone the opportunity. One wrong move, and that trust would be completely broken.

Kaito didn’t respond. He didn’t need to, and he figured it would only make Kokichi feel even more vulnerable. Instead, Kaito only nodded before he set aside his own anxieties, gently grabbed Kokichi’s hips, and pressed himself inside.

He slid in a lot faster and easier than before, but Kaito was still keeping it slow and steady until he was all the way in. He heard Kokichi moan, and saw his fingers dig into the sheets.

Starting off with a slow pace, Kaito started thrusting his hips, in and out, back and forth. Kokichi remained tense initially when he started, but eventually relaxed with a groan muffled by the bedding. Every few thrusts, Kokichi would whine and tightly grip onto the sheets.

Feeling Kokichi relax beneath him emboldened Kaito, and he picked up the pace a little. “Fuck, _fuck,_ Kokichi…!”

It was so tight and felt so good, but something felt… off. There was a longing that Kaito found he couldn’t quite satisfy with the way they were. His body felt too cold.

Keeping one hand on Kokichi’s hips, and using the other to prop himself up, Kaito leaned forward. He managed to get close enough to plant a kiss on Kokichi’s shoulder, but he quickly realized that they just couldn’t be close _enough_ in this position.

As Kaito slowed to a stop, he noticed that Kokichi didn’t seem as into it either. He was still making some noise, and if that was any indication, it meant that maybe this position wasn’t one they favored.

Panting, Kaito kissed the crook of Kokichi’s neck and his shoulder before he whispered; “I don’t think this is really doin’ it for me.”

“Y-yeah, same,” Kokichi agreed. “It’s not _bad,_ just...”

Kokichi’s voice trailed off, and Kaito kissed his neck again. “… Yeah. I wanna be closer to you.”

“Oh my _god,_ of course you’re a _sap_ about it!” Kokichi snorted. “Geez, what am I gonna do with you?”

As an idea popped into Kaito’s head, he grinned. “Well, how about _this?”_

Suddenly, the hand that was on Kokichi’s hip move up to his chest, and without pulling out, Kaito pulled Kokichi up and back, effectively making him sit back on his lap. Kokichi had squeaked from the sudden motion, which made Kaito pause. Slowly, he kissed Kokichi’s shoulder. “… You okay?”

“Y-yeah,” Kokichi said with a groan. “You—you really don’t have to keep checkin’ on me, you know.”

“Just wanted to make sure.”

With a few apologetic kisses to Kokichi’s neck and shoulder, Kaito grabbed Kokichi’s waist and started bucking his hips. Kokichi gasped, and shuddered with a quiet moan as Kaito thrusted in and out, over and over.

“D-damn,” Kaito breathed. “No matter what position we’re in, you—you always feel so _good,_ Kokichi.”

“Y… yeah?” Kokichi managed to say through the little soft sounds of pleasure. Though it sounded more like a question than a statement, Kaito didn’t have the time to call attention to it before Kokichi scoffed. “Of course it f-feels good, it’s _me._ I—ghh...” A groan broke through his words, and as Kaito continued thrusting, Kokichi started panting. “Fuck, _fuck…!”_

Kaito snickered, and one of his hands slid down to where Kokichi’s hip met his thigh. “You sound so fuckin’ _good,_ I can’t stand it.” Suddenly, that wandering hand of his moved to Kokichi grab Kokichi’s shaft. With a sharp gasp, Kokichi shuddered and whimpered, already squirming from just being touched.

“Does this feel good?” Kaito whispered into the crook of Kokichi’s neck, thrusting and now stroking him tenderly. He had to choke down his own urges to groan. “Do you like this? Do you feel good?”

“A-ah… Hah...” Kokichi tried to form words, but all that passed his lips were incoherent sounds of pleasure. “Nnn… Ah… Y-yeah… It—” Kokichi whimpered. “It f-feels so good… Gh, K-Kaito...”

Kokichi fell silent after that, only giving the occasional whine when Kaito stroked him just right or hit that sweet spot within him. Even though Kokichi was on top of him again, Kaito felt as if he was still the one in control, the one with power. Kokichi’s mask had faded into something much more sincere, a little shy and meek by comparison. Yet to see such a genuine glimmer of Kokichi, Kaito couldn’t help but to let pride engulf his chest. Even when a few stray moans and groans escaped from him, it didn’t dampen the feeling any less.

When he heard Kokichi’s soft little noises being pushed into a higher register, it took every ounce of will power to slow to a stop. So close, he felt like they were both so _close_ to their climax, and while he wanted to chase after it, it didn’t feel quite right for them to finish and for him not to be able to kiss Kokichi as they did.

Kokichi, naturally, started squirming again. “Ghh, Kaito, god damn it—” he whimpered. “I was—I was so close, why did you stop? Kaito?”

Kaito could hear the concern in Kokichi’s voice and it made him chuckle a little. He felt a little out of breath, and felt sweat beading down his head. “I want to kiss you.”

“K… Kiss me?”

“Yeah. Kiss you.” Kaito lifted Kokichi off of his lap and slid out again, feeling Kokichi shudder as he whined. “I want to kiss you. Please?”

“Nn… Kaitoooo...” Kokichi whined, before he immediately turned around and pressed his mouth to Kaito’s. When he pulled away, he was already panting, face flushed the darkest red Kaito had ever seen it. “You… you don’t… gh, I—you don’t have to ask, you can just… kiss me, kiss me as much as you want, please...”

And so he did, pulling Kokichi into another kiss before he could even think. Again and again, he pulled away from Kokichi only to pull him back in, pulling Kokichi’s body as close to his as he could. When Kaito couldn’t take it anymore, he roughly flipped them over and slammed Kokichi against the mattress. Kokichi had yelped, startled by the sudden movement, but he only started snickering before he dragged Kaito down for yet another kiss.

Something about this kiss felt strange. It was still filled with about as desire as all of their other kisses, and it still had that lingering sweetness from the party, but something about it made Kaito pull away slower. His eyes locked with Kokichi’s, and they held each other’s gaze in silence. The moment faded, and Kokichi dragged him back in for another open-mouthed kiss. With a low groan, Kaito started grinding his hips into Kokichi’s again, feeling him and Kokichi rub up against one another. He felt Kokichi gasp against his lips, and he knew he just couldn’t take it anymore.

Kaito pulled away for a brief moment, shivering from the cool air on his skin as he pressed himself inside of Kokichi one last time. He was a bit more reckless, wanting and greedy but still careful to not hurt Kokichi in any way. One he was all the way in, he felt Kokichi’s arms wrap around his neck to pull him down and closer. Without another moment of hesitation, Kaito started to thrust his hips.

In and out, faster and rougher than he had been before. Kaito didn’t care anymore about the grunts and groans he made—he was chasing the orgasm his body so desperately craved. At some point, Kokichi’s arms moved from his neck to wrap around his chest, gasping and whining as he dug the pads of his fingers into Kaito’s back.

His muscles tensed, his heart was pounding in his chest, and his mind was starting to go blank—he could _feel_ it, the warmth and pressure building up in his groin and the way Kokichi tensed beneath him. They both were just over the edge and ready to fall. “F—fuck, _fuck,_ I’m—!”

The climax interrupted him, as electrifying pulses tore through him, erasing every thought and everything aside from the immediate sensation of an exploding feeling of pleasure. Kaito gasped into the crook of Kokichi’s neck as he rode the high, his hips jerking on their own to savor each and every spasm. Kokichi had buried his face into Kaito’s shoulder when he came, and panted and whimpered as his entire body shuddered against him.

It was only a few seconds at most, and when the euphoria started to die down, Kaito could finally think again with absolute clarity. The first thing he could even think to do was kiss Kokichi. He didn’t care where his lips landed, as long as they made contact. It didn’t matter in the long run, either way, as Kokichi eventually caught his lips with his own.

When Kaito pulled away, he did so to pull out, and suddenly he felt entirely exhausted. Without thinking, Kaito’s eyes glanced down, and saw the mess they both made in their condoms. He couldn’t help but to be thankful for Kokichi’s foresight.

“Maaaan, I’m tired,” Kokichi complained, though he sounded more content above anything else. He lazily slipped off the used condom and tossed it randomly off of the bed, and Kaito did the same. “I don’t want to moooove.”

“Mmm...” Kaito flopped over beside Kokichi, and he felt no less drunk and dizzy, but every part of his body felt lax and satisfied. He wrapped his arms around Kokichi, paying no mind to how hot it felt after all the exertion. With how Kokichi nestled up to him, he didn’t think Kokichi minded. He just wanted to be close to him. “Y’don’t mind if I stay here t’night, yeah?”

"Of course... If y'thought you were leaving after all that, I'd hit you." He chuckled as Kokichi snuggled his face against Kaito's chest, falling silent as he listened to Kaito breathe. His lips curled into a content smile, and it made Kaito’s chest swell with affection. With how clingy they both felt, Kokichi’s bed would just have to be his bed as well for the rest of the night. Not only that, but Kokichi would need a goddamn crowbar if he wanted to pry Kaito away from the cuddling he craved in the afterglow of what they’d done together.

“Good, because I wasn’t planning on going anywhere even if you said no. Not anytime soon.” He couldn’t help it; he curled his arms tighter around Kokichi, curling to press a tender kiss against the top of his head. This earned him a soft sigh from Kokichi before he let them both relax. One of his hands played idly with Kokichi’s hair, much like he’d done earlier when Kokichi had laid in his lap, and Kokichi practically went limp at the contact. Kaito snorted. He never would have guessed that such an exchange would end up with them here in bed together, but he could feel nothing but happy and satisfied, if incredibly tired after all that exertion.

Despite being as physically close to Kaito as he could be, Kokichi attempted to move closer, nuzzling his face into Kaito’s chest with another soft sigh. With how Kokichi was breathing, Kaito suspected that the alcohol, sex, time, and gentle touches were putting him right to sleep.

Kokichi started muttering out soft, incoherent noises that sounded like attempts at words, but Kaito couldn’t understand most of them. He only smiled and continued to play with Kokichi’s hair. “Kokichi, shh. Go to sleep.”

“Mmnn,” Kokichi murmured as he shook his head. Or nuzzled him again, Kaito couldn’t tell which. It didn’t matter in the end, for with a drowsy, slurred voice, Kokichi finally said something Kaito could understand. “… Love you.”

’ _Love...’_

Kaito didn’t stop playing with Kokichi’s hair, nor did he make an outward movement of surprise, but the confession hit him in his chest. His heart did a weird flip, and he didn’t know how to react. He doubted that Kokichi would use such a word lightly. He hadn’t even said it at all earlier, not once. Though when he thought about it, he remembered when Kokichi struggled with his words and tried to say something that just wouldn’t pass his lips. Maybe that was what he wanted to say the entire time.

The arm that was still wrapped around Kokichi squeezed him again—he was overwhelmed by the need to be close, and closer still, and to shower him with affection and to protect him. Kokichi had said that he’d liked him for such a long time. Now, Kaito felt that he didn’t even know the half of it.

Kokichi didn’t even seem aware of what he said, only moaning softly when he was squeezed. He tried to cuddle closer still, not to much avail with how close they already were. There were a few more hints of incoherent words before Kokichi finally said something else coherent. “… G’night.”

“Night, Kokichi...”

He watched Kokichi finally drift off in his arms, feeling the rise and fall of his breathe. He looked so peaceful, a content smile tugging gently on his sleeping face. A part of him wanted to just lay there and watch Kokichi, but then he felt all too drowsy to keep his eyes open. Kaito rested his hand against the back of Kokichi’s head, an arm wrapped loose around him. He hummed, letting his eyes fall closed and relishing in their physical closeness. It didn’t take him long at all to fall asleep.

The next morning Kaito was the first to wake, grumbling softly with the beginnings of a hang over and the sun glaring into his eyes. Though the displeasure of waking up with such little sleep to fuel him died when he caught sight of Kokichi’s sleeping form, still as close to him as he physically could be. A rush of adoration ran through him, warm and intense in a totally different way than he’d felt last night but just as overwhelming. He could choke on the feeling with how badly it wanted to be expressed, but instead, he laughed quietly and started to gently play with the ends of Kokichi’s hair.

Kokichi didn’t take much longer to wake up, moaning and groaning as his eyes fluttered opened and then closed again. He scowled, trying to hide his face from the sun by burying it into Kaito’s chest again, but in the end, Kokichi groaned and cracked his eyes open. He glanced up at Kaito with a grumpy pout before glaring at the window. "Mmmph… Stupid sun..." Someone _really_ didn't want to be awake.

Kaito wanted to laugh at how displeased Kokichi looked with being awake. Something about his grumpy expression tugged at his heart, too cute and too endearing. He started to pet the back of Kokichi’s head. “Morning, sleepyhead.”

Kokichi grumbled, and blinked a few times. Probably trying to blink away the drowsiness he surely felt."... G'mornin'.” He managed to mutter before he yawned. "What time is it? It feels like too early."

"It's not that early." He squeezed Kokichi again, planting kisses along the side of his face. The kisses made Kokichi whine and pout more, but it only encouraged Kaito to keep kissing him. He didn't know what it was about a sleepy Kokichi that put him right into an affectionate mood like this, but he couldn't help himself.

Kokichi yawned again, closed his eyes, and started cuddling against Kaito again. "Mmm... Too early... back to sleep... 'g'night…"

"You're too adorable, damn, but c'mon, time to wake up." Kaito held back a laugh as he started to gently nudge Kokichi. “C’mon, get up.”

"Noooo..." Kokichi only whined more and puffed out his cheeks, pouting. "Too early... Sleep. Shhhh, sleeeeeep..." Kokichi wrapped his arms around Kaito, as if to trap him there, and nuzzled his chest. "Sleep... 'night…"

“Geez, you...” Kaito combed his fingers through Kokichi’s hair, avoiding pulling at any tangles from their activities from last night followed by sleep. His limbs were starting to feel sore and tired, making him want to remain in bed just as much as it also made him want to get up and stretch.

“I could roll us both out of bed right now, you can’t stop me,” he said, an empty threat. Instead of moving to even pretend to make good on it, he kissed the top of Kokichi’s head, unable to resist. Kokichi only responded to Kaito's words and kiss with a soft moan. “You’re lucky you’re so cute, I swear.”

"Mmph…” Kokichi puffed out his cheeks, and despite his small grin, his face was hit with a light blush. “You act like you're surprised I'm tired... Did you forget how late you kept me up?"

There was no way he _could_ forget. Memories from last night flickered through his head, and he felt heat creep into his cheeks as he remembered exactly what they'd done together. Not that it was a bad thing, but now he felt like his face was bright red from it. "Geez, ok, I guess I see your point..."

Upon seeing Kaito get all flustered up from the reminder, Kokichi snorted and moved. He gently pushed Kaito to lay flat on his back, hovering over him with their faces mere inches apart. "... Not that I mind. It was a _great_ birthday present." He teased, giving Kaito a soft kiss. Kaito hummed in contentment, the soft press of his lips against Kokichi's warming his chest. When Kokichi pulled back, he felt like he was utterly enamored. "Though, if you _really_ want me to wake up, I guess I can manage… but you’ll have to wait and cuddle me a while."

"I guess I can... for a while yeah," Kaito muttered, raising his head to kiss Kokichi again. Kokichi made a soft, muffled noise in surprise to the second kiss, however he quickly melted into it.

Though soon, Kokichi pulled away, and stared at Kaito with big, wide eyes and pursed lips. Kaito scanned his features, his smile lessening a little. Kokichi looked like he wanted to say something, but his lips didn’t even part in an attempt to say it. Soon, Kokichi apparently gave up and quietly rested his head on Kaito's shoulder and avoided his gaze. He started mindlessly tracing his fingers over Kaito's chest, but said nothing.

Reaching over with his free hand, Kaito brushed his fingers over Kokichi's heated cheek. "Mm." His voice came out somewhere between a quiet moan and a groan. He pressed his lips to the top of Kokichi's head, and stayed there. He felt Kokichi squirm and fidget a little before he wrapped his arms around Kaito’s chest. Warm, so warm. Kaito held onto that sensation, and the affection for the boy at his side beating in his chest. Soon, it just became too much to bare.

The next words Kaito spoke had slipped out before he could stop them. "Love you, Kokichi."

Kokichi tensed, and he immediately started staring at Kaito, wide-eyes and mouth agape with a dumbfounded expression. "Wh... what did you say...?"

If the fact that such words slipped out scared him, and the fact that he genuinely felt like he meant them scared him more, then the way Kokichi tensed and stared up at him with such a shocked expression _terrified_ him. He was well aware how quick he'd moved, from friends to having sex to... saying that he loved him. If he didn't vaguely remember Kokichi saying that he loved him as he dozed off the night before, he'd think that he'd way overshot Kokichi's feelings for him. And yet... he felt what he felt, and he was sure of this much, at least. That he loved Kokichi. That he'd probably loved him for a while now.

So he swallowed and steeled himself. No point in backing down now.

He met Kokichi's dumbfounded gaze with his own as steady as he could make it. Still he couldn't help the nerves from creeping into his voice. "I said... I love you," he repeated, watching keenly for Kokichi's reaction.

Kokichi remained as dumbfounded as before, clearly confused and bewildered. Soon, those lilac eyes of his started scanning Kaito’s face, probably looking for even the slightest hint of a lie. When Kokichi’s gaze softened, his fingers started lightly trembling and he averted his gaze. He swallowed. "R... Really...? But I... I'm…" The trembling got a little worse. "... I, uh." He whined softly before he buried his face, hiding it away from Kaito. "I… Love you too."

Kokichi’s whole body had started shaking. With a small frown, Kaito wrapped both arms around Kokichi, holding him tightly. Remembering how Kokichi had reacted when he'd believed that Kaito had kissed him without any attraction, Kaito wasn’t surprised that he'd be terrified.

Kokichi had liked him for so long, he had said. Maybe he even loved him? While part of him wished he'd known before last night, he couldn't blame him when Kaito claimed he was straight for so long. That he'd said that Shuichi was only an exception. "Hey, it's okay. You're okay." He didn't know how to soothe Kokichi's shaking, and it was only getting worse and worse. It was almost heart breaking. "It's taken me way too goddamn long to figure this out but... I love you."

"... R-really...?" Kokichi repeated. "I... Are you...?" Kokichi tried to force himself to look up at Kaito, but catching his eyes only made him shake more. "... You really... love me? Really?"

"Really," Kaito insisted, trying to be as firm with his answer as he could without sounding annoyed. He really wasn't at all, he could understand where the doubt was coming from. Just yesterday, Kaito had been positive that he was straight.

Even if he had a boyfriend. Who he claimed was an ‘exception,’ but… in reality, that hadn’t been the case at all.

"I get it's... a _little_ sudden, but..." Boy was that the understatement of the century. As he spoke, he rubbed his hand over Kokichi's back. Something had to help, whether it be the soothing motions or the honesty. Kokichi was only remaining quiet, staring at him and waiting for him to continue."But I just keep looking at you, and it makes me feel... it makes my chest feel warm and my heart race... and I want to be close to you, and look at you, and... touch you, you know?" If his hands weren't occupied, he'd probably rub the back of his head. At the very least, Kokichi was starting to relax.

Well, it was a start.

"I mean, not like that—well, _yes,_ like that too but that's not what I meant.” Kaito felt his own face burn up a little at the thought, and he couldn’t look at Kokichi anymore as he spoke. “But I'm not that much of an asshole, I know that I feel like this with Shuichi and I look at him like a damn lovesick fool, and if I look at you like that too..."

Kaito paused, drawing in a deep breath before releasing it as a heavy sigh. "Well I mean I'm probably a dumb ass for not realizing it sooner, but I love you. I'm sure of it."

When Kaito looked back down at Kokichi, he was met with a studying gaze. Kokichi’s eyes flickered all over his features before he whines, and suddenly, Kokichi crushed their lips together in a needy kiss. Kaito's hands stilled, holding him instead as he kissed him back. Kokichi deepened the kiss, and Kaito felt the love and emotion behind it.

When Kokichi pulled away, he kept his eyes closed. "I've... been in love with you for a long time," he muttered quietly. "I... It feels so surreal. Like a dream I'm about to wake up from." Finally, Kokichi opened his eyes, staring into Kaito's for a moment, before smiling and kissing him again. "I... I believe you. I love you."

A sigh escaped from Kaito. He felt relieved, content. "I love you, too." Reaching up to cup Kokichi’s face, he kissed him again. "It's not a dream. I love you." A moment passed, before something occurred to him, which he probably should've thought about a long time before then. "Ah, we sort of just ditched Shuichi and Kurochi last night."

"Mmm… I don’t think they’ll mind." Kokichi smiled before giving Kaito yet another kiss. "I remember texting Shuichi last night," he he clarified. "So at least he knows where we ran off to." Kokichi hummed again before pressing his lips to Kaito's again.

Kaito blinked, a little surprised by the revelation. “You did? When?”

"While you were looking for me," Kokichi said, grinning. "You caught me before he could reply though... but hey, at least he knows you're with me."

“Oh...” He’d been so focused on chasing and finding Kokichi, and then occupied with... things... that it didn’t even occur to him in his one-track drunken state to shoot his boyfriend a text that he’d be spending the night with Kokichi. Any guilt he might’ve felt, however, failed to take root as Kokichi kissed him again. Kaito squeezed his arms around him, pressing into the kiss, and when he pulled away he gazed intently at Kokichi, eyes half-lidded.

Memories of the night before started surfacing again, and Kaito remembered how emotional Kokichi had gotten when he admitted he had liked him for a ‘long time.’

A long time...

“How long?” he asked, the words slipping out before he could stop them. “How long have you loved me... like that?”

The curiosity dug at him, to know just how long the ‘long time’ Kokichi had loved him went on for.

Kokichi initially fell silent, and he averted his eyes. "Welp. Uh." His cheeks grew a darker red. "... Do you want the technical answer, or when I realized I loved you?" He paused, though before Kaito could think to answer, Kokichi shook his head. "I... I realized it soon after Shuichi and I started dating." His voice was quiet and delicate, as if speaking a deep, dark secret. "He had told me about his feelings for you when he asked if I was all right with the idea of him dating you too... and I realized I was kinda, uh. In the same boat."

Kokichi hung his head, and he kept silent for quite some time before he finally muttered; "... But I technically started loving you... during the... Killing Game. Or, uh. Maybe a bit after it. When we woke up, I was just… attached to you, and—"

When Kokichi started lightly trembling Kaito hushed him. “Hey, shh. You don’t have to say any more. I get the idea.”

Still, he thought about what Kokichi said. That was a long time to have feelings for someone. A _really_ long time. Kaito didn't know what to say to that, the fact that most of the time he'd known Kokichi, he'd been in love with Kaito. Even if until after he and Shuichi started dating, he hadn't yet realized it. "Really? That long, huh?"

And Kaito had insisted he was straight that entire time. It couldn't have felt good for Kokichi to hear that from someone he loved. Even after dating Shuichi, which...

"So... back then, when you were avoiding me? Was that because I told you I was still straight?" It'd been so soon after Shuichi had confessed to him, and then Kokichi had so abruptly cut off from him out of nowhere. Saying he needed ‘space,’ needed ‘time,’ needed to be alone..."Were you going to say something too?"

With how Kokichi tensed, Kaito didn’t need him to answer. That was more than enough to confirm his suspicions.

"... Yeah." Yet when Kokichi gave his answer, Kaito didn’t stop him. He remained quiet, trying to soothe Kokichi’s nerves by tracing his hand up and down his back. Kokichi’s voice was soft, and he couldn't even look at Kaito. "I made a deal with Shuichi that I'd... tell you the truth if things went well for him. And they went well for him... but..." Kokichi’s voice trailed off. "I'm sorry," he muttered. "I didn't... want to hurt you like that. Really. I just... I don't know. It hurt. It hurt... a lot."

Kaito frowned. “But you didn’t tell me anything.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t get the _chance_ to,” Kokichi mumbled. “When I was about to, you started going on and _on_ about how Shuichi was an ‘exception,’ or whatever… I didn’t even get the chance to confess and you already shut me down. I figured it’d be a waste of time confessing when you made it _pretty damn clear_ you weren’t interested in any other guys.”

“… Oh.” So, that _had_ been the reason. At the time, he'd had no idea, and it hurt to have Kokichi avoid him as hard as he did. They'd been friends by then, rather close ones as well, and he would've at least hoped that Kokichi would talk to him if something was wrong. Even Shuichi hadn't been much help at the time, an intermediary between his two boyfriends. He'd done his best to comfort Kaito, and let him vent out his frustration and injured feelings over the situation. Yet he couldn't tell Kaito what was up with Kokichi. Even more frustrating than that was when Kokichi finally started talking to him again, he'd refused to even discuss what had happened, and there had been nothing else that Kaito could have done but let the subject drop.

As Kaito got lost in his own thoughts, Kokichi had started shaking worse than before. A soft little whimper brought Kaito back to reality, and he saw tears gathering in Kokichi’s eyes as he avoided to so much as look at him. “I’m sorry...”

He drew circles into the small of Kokichi's back, kissing the top of his head. "Hey, c'mon, look at me. It's all water under the bridge now, right?"

"... I'm sorry," Kokichi repeated. He was still refusing to look at Kaito. "I should have just... told you the truth. I should have just told you. I made everything way more complicated and worse instead." Kokichi started laughing, but it was empty and hollow. “I still can't believe you forgave me like that. I was... convinced you'd hate me. Especially when I wouldn't give you an answer. Man, I'm a goddamn idiot, aren't I?"

“You’re not an idiot.” Kaito insisted. “Look at _me,_ I’m the one who got a fucking _boyfriend_ and continued to insist I was straight, if you want to talk about acting like a dumb ass.” Especially when that hadn’t been the case at all. Kokichi only whimpered, and Kaito let out his breath in a slow exhale, continuing to rub Kokichi’s back. “You’re fine, man, I’ve already forgiven you for that. I decided to believe in you, y’know? Don’t wanna lose you.”

His eyes stung. Shit. Kaito didn’t want to get all emotional like this, all he’d wanted to do was convince Kokichi about how he felt and then get some answers. But the way Kokichi was talking, the way he looked so guilt-ridden and on the verge of tears, got to him. “That was back then anyway, and we’re here now, alright? No hard feelings.”

Kokichi finally raised his eyes to look into Kaito’s, both of them emotional from everything that had happened. Eventually, Kokichi snorted. "Damn it, you _ass."_ He nudged Kaito's shoulder. By the way Kokichi was grinning and the playful whine in his voice, Kaito knew he was just playing and started laughing. "Ugh! You're making me feel _feelings,_ ya jerk. Supreme leaders of evil like me aren't _supposed_ to have feelings! You're ruining my image. You're sooo meaaan!"

Kaito squeezed his arms around Kokichi, hugging him snug against him as he continued to snicker and laugh at Kokichi’s antics. It was good that they had finally talked about it, even if it was a conversation they should’ve had _before_ everything that happened last night.

Oh well. A little out of order—kissing, then having sex, and _then_ finally talking about how they felt, but it’d all gotten done anyway.


End file.
